Jolted: The Leah Clearwater Experienced, Untold
by NovaLun
Summary: Have you ever imagined what really went on during Sam and Leah's breakup? Well, fret no more! I present to you an alternate story line with old and new characters like you've never experienced them before. Dive into Leah Clearwater's life and see how she copes with the loss and new found love.
1. Waning

I tapped my pen on the side of my desk as Mrs. Brave Bear droned , Math is my favorite subject but I can't concentrate. I haven't been able to concentrate for quite some time. My eyes floated towards the window. My whole body shook unexpectedly,a giant urge to run outside came to me in one, giant wave. Dark clouds were beginning to form as I turned to the page number that Mrs. Brave Bear barked out. I felt small smile spread across my face. I absolutely love the rain; the smell, the sound, the taste… Everything about cloudy-rainy weather is absolutely calming and hypnotizing to I live I get to experience many rainy days, probably more than most people would enjoy.

La Push sits on the Pacific Coast in Washington State close to the Olympic Peninsula, which means we are under a near constant curtain of clouds and rain. On La Push resides a small Native American Reservation with an approximate population of ten thousand. Since the Quileute Tribe is such a small one we tend to know each other's business. Everyone seems to gossip and know everyone's secrets -sometimes even before the person knows it themselves.

Despite living in a small, tight knit community growing up I always felt alone. As if, I was walking two steps behind everyone. Or that everyone had a key to a door that I didn't even know existed. I've kept to myself for most of my life, preferring the outdoors to social interactions. I'd much rather be ankle deep in water, fly fishing or getting my hands dirty with fresh soil as I rock climbed the many cliffs we have around this area- anything that was dangerous or got my adrenaline up I was into doing and loved. I've even gotten into my fair share of fist fights…. But those were for pure entertainment than brutality, even thought my little brother constantly reminds me I have anger problems.

Despite my social awkwardness, I am very close to my family. I am the epitome of a "Daddy's Girl," we hunt and fish at least twice a month together. Although my mother and I don't agree on much I love her and love to be in the kitchen with her. I absolutely adore my little brother, Seth.

There is one more person I think of when I hear the word, 'family.' Emily Young.

Emily is my second cousin who lives in a larger Reservation about two hours North-West from La Push. I don't get to see Emily that much but when I do, we are inseparable. She is like the sister I never had. I honestly don't know what I'd do without her in my life.

Even with my family, they still never completely fill this void I have in the deep, dark pit of my stomach.

Three Years.

Well,it'll be three years, come next Thursday.

Next Thursday will mark the three year anniversary that I have not had that aching, gnawing feeling inside of me. Thursday will also mark three years that I have been in a relationship with the most amazing person I have ever met.

Sam Uley.

Sam is only a year older than me, so I've always seen him at school activities and community functions but never had spoken to him. The first time we ever had a conversation was my first day of high school. I'll never forget it because that's the day that changed my entire life. I was running late for first class, which wasn't surprising. I am not what someone would call a 'Morning Person.'

I was sprinting across the school's side lawn when I ran head first into, what felt like a concrete wall. But, no, it was just Sam. The wind was knocked out of my lungs and before my brain could register what was happening or that I was falling back for that matter – his muscular arms were reaching out for me cradling me to his chest. He smelt of warm caramel and firewood, and all it took was him asking, "Are you okay." For me to fall completely and utterly in love with him.

Sam is the love of my life. I know I must sound like a typical teenage girl, rambling on about my boyfriend…. But I am not a typical girl and Sam is not a typical teenage boy. He's strong, body and mind. He's smart, and not just book smart he's far more mature than any of the boys at school. He has kind, brown eyes and soft, strong hands. Meeting Sam sent my world ablaze, I never thought I had the ability to love someone the way I love Sam. I have never genuinely cared about someone's wellbeing until him.

Meeting Sam, made me hyper aware of the world around me. My days seem to brighter and my nights warmer. Everything fell into place the moment I fell into his arms.

The sound of the last bell pulled me out of my daydream. As I collected my things I felt butterflies growing in my belly. Feelings began to deepen south of my belly, my body knew that Sam was close. I let my legs following that feeling across the classroom. Once I passed the threshold and was in the hallway I saw him leaning against a floor to ceiling window, waiting for me.

Our eyes connected and mirrored smirks formed on each of our faces. Nothing will ever be wrong in this world as long as I get to call this man mine.


	2. The First of the Last Good Days

I had to forcefully stop myself from running as I made a bee line to him. On my last step I couldn't take the anticipation I jumped up and as I did Sam held his arms wide open for me. I draped my arms around his neck, eager to take in his scent. I felt him chuckle as the familiar scent of firewood and caramel flooded my nostrils.

"Are you ready?" He asked as he twirled me around, keeping me fully engrossed in his scent and engulfed in his arms. He began walking, leading me blindly down the hall towards the student parking area. We have planned a getaway to the woods, all we have to do is drive to my house because there a short trail that leads directly into the woods. Actually, most of the homes on the Reservation sit on the outskirts of the woods. Once outside I unfolded myself from Sam so that I could walk and more importantly, see. Most of the kids drive motorcycles or off road vehicles to school, so the parking lot is always dangerous. I can't count how many times I've seen someone sprawled across the pavement hurt with either a concussion or worse.

Sam threw his arms around my shoulders, pulling me tight to his side as we trudge down the aisle towards his gray Ford 350. Levi, Sam's Great-Grandfather, gave him the truck last year for Sam's seventeenth birthday. Sam was raised by his mother and Levi. Being raised by that dynamic made Sam mature at a very young age. I think that's one reason why I was drawn so intensely to him. Sam wasn't the type to play games, he always told me what was on his mind, we had no secrets between us. He makes the air around me sweet and the ground beneath me disappear.

Engines roared and the noise level raised around us as more and more kids were being to come to the parking lot in droves. We finally made it to the truck and Sam walked with me to the passenger side, he opened the door for me, grabbed me by my hips and pulled me close to him. The open door blocked us from view, so no one could watch as he bent his head down and began to kiss me. I returned his kiss eagerly, reaching out to touch the sides of his face, his shoulders my hands greedily began to wander all over his chest. I felt him shiver under my fingertips, he laughed, suddenly breaking our kiss. I looked up, slightly bewildered by his action only to smile as I watched him looking down at me with a goofy, over exaggerated smile. He bent down and kissed my forehead and then lifted me up and sat me down on the passenger seat.

I left my knees facing out so that I could wrap my legs around Sam. He wrapped one of his hands around my left thigh and the other he rested on the door's armrest. We were waiting for my brother, Seth, to get out of school but the Jr. High School gets out fifteen minutes later than what we do so we still had a little while to ourselves before he comes.

" How'd your test go?" I asked, remembering that Sam and I spent Thursday night and last night studying for his Economics Exam.

"I did okay…" He said, without much confidence, "….well, I hope I did okay. If anything, I didn't fail."

My heart dropped, he' been stressing a lot over this exam and I really thought I had helped him either ease the stress or make a good grade on it. "Well, I know you did your best and now you don't have to worry about it anymore."

Instead of saying anything in response, he simply kissed the top of my head. We changed subjects quickly and began to plan out this afternoon's hike. By the time Seth came barreling towards us we were talking about what snacks we wanted. Sam and I usually spent anywhere from nine to ten hour long hikes so food was always an important key."Hey guys!" Seth shouted excitingly, interrupting me while I was making a very strong point of what type of cheese really belongs on a Bacon and Turkey sandwich.

"Hey Seth!" We both said in unison, making me giggle.

"You guys are beyond gross, do you share one brain?" He asked as jerked open the backseat door. I swatted him playfully making him yell. Sam said something under his breath to Seth which made the both laugh before getting into the truck himself. I narrowed my eyes as he started the engine, completely missing their inside joke. I shook it off as I began to fiddle with the radio, I settled into my seat once I was able to find a catchy, upbeat song I could sing to. Before I left to school my father said he was going to go fishing two hours north from us, with his friends Billy Black and Charlie Swan so I knew he'd be gone.

Driving up our driveway, I noticed my mom's black Nissan wasn't under the carport. She must have picked up an extra shift, she works at the small clinic here at the Reservation. I don't blame her, with Dad being gone, Sam and I having plans, and Seth will most likely lock himself in his room to play video games the house will feel mother doesn't like to sit down for long periods of time. She'd rather be running around like a mad woman than twiddling her thumbs. She's the strongest and kindest woman I have ever met.

My thoughts were still on my mother as we all piled out of the truck and trudged inside. I sat my backpack down in the sunroom and made my way towards the kitchen. I could hear the boys roughhousing and laughing in the living room.

I gathered all the fixing for sandwiches, making sure I had enough to make Seth his own. After sandwiches I gathered trail mix, apples, oranges, and some water and placed everything in small cooler. I tossed the cooler's strap over my shoulder and headed in the direction of where all the noise was coming from.

I found Sam and Seth craned over some sort of Sports magazine or maybe it was a motorcycle magazine… I watched them from the doorway, they hadn't realized I walked into the room so it gave me a chance to watch Sam without any interruptions. There wasn't much time that had passed, before Sam picked his head up and found my gaze. He got up and didn't speak a word until he was already half way towards me.

"See you later Seth." He called over his shoulder as I allowed him to tow me through the hall and out through the kitchen door.

The sky was brighter than it was when we were at school, but only just slightly. The last drops of a mid-afternoon rain had just fallen and the air smelled deliciously crispy. I jabbed Sam playfully in the rib cage and took off running down the worn path. I could hear Sam's footsteps pounding the wet gravel trying to catch me. I've been in the track team since I was thirteen and have always been the fastest.

I made a wide turn and over my giggling I could him struggling to nab me. I let myself gently loose speed so that he wouldn't notice that I was letting him take me. For what I felt like took eternity his fingers finally curled around my upper arms and plucked me from the ground. The sudden shift in Gravity made me dizzy, I lost balance and let the cooler fall to the ground. "SAM!" I gasped, between giggled. "Stop," I gently pushed him away really not wanting him to let me go.

He called my bluff and instead of letting me go he bent his knee and made us tumble gently to the ground. We rolled around in the soft moss, wrestling and kissing. I could hear birds sing somewhere above us.


	3. Mother Ann's Tale

I am utterly content with my life. Nothing could make me upset or ruin this life I have.

Especially right now, because I am currently licking the remains of my peanut butter sandwich off of my fingers, wearing only Sam's T-shirt, looking down at him sleeping. We settled in one of the lower dips of the forest so we were out of site and completely alone in our little spot in the world. The sky is beginning to darken, but I haven't noticed much because the light of the setting sun was shining on Sam's naked chest making his glisten.

He's absolutely magnificent.

I could watch him sleep forever. I did watch him sleep awhile longer before succumbing to my urge and I nestled myself into his side and laid my head on his arm. I felt him stir, but he didn't wake. He rolled over to his side and cradled me in his arms tightly. I felt safe, between the Earth and Sam I know nothing can harm me. Where we were laying, the grass was over grown from lack of foot traffic, and was super soft. This is probably the closest feeling ill ever get to sleeping on a cloud.

Suddenly, Sam yawned loudly making my jump. He chuckled in my hair, kissing the back of my head, "Sorry," he murmured sleepily. "What time is it?"

"Ughhh…" I shuffled around to be able to get a view of my watch. "It's just past eight-thirty. Why?" I turned so that I could see his face fully. "Have you had enough of me?" I gave him a wicked smile, prompting him to answer quickly.

"I'll never get enough time with you Lee-Lee."

His words instantly melted my heart and sent me in a fit of giggles. He laughed at me and began to tickle me. He shifted his weight so that he was now on top of me. He began to trail kisses across me forged and down the left side of my face. I grabbed at his hair and forced his lips back to mine as his hand swept under his shirt, leaving me goosebumps wherever he touched.

It was just before eleven when we stepped on my back porch. Neither one of my parents were home the only light that was on was coming from Seth's room. I smile, knowing he's safe at home makes me happy. I reached in through the sliding doors so that I could turn on the outside lights. As I did, I heard Sam behind me pulling chairs out so that we could sit down. Neither one of us were ready to leave each others presence. Once I settled into the seat next to Sam I gently swing my legs over and rested them on his left knee.

"I can't stay too much longer I promised my mom I'd get up early with her and start wrapping some trees with lights for the Feast tomorrow night."

Oh, I had forgotten about the rest of the world.

I had also forgotten that the tribe was having our annual Tribal Leader Feast tomorrow night. "Yeah, I told my mom I'd help her cook." I groaned, but Sam and I both knew I loved to cook and it thrilled me to see people enjoying anything I made. Sam probably stayed longer than he anticipated but we got lost in a conversational maze about fishing and it turned into a conversation about our plans for prom. Also once my mom got home he helped us unload her grocery bag filled trunk.

I was completely drop-dead tired once I got into bed. I didn't shower, I didn't even feel bad about it because I could smell Sam and dirt on me. The mouthwatering mixed aroma sent me to my deepest, and best sleep I ever had….and probably, will ever have in my entire life.

The next morning I woke rested and oddly early. In fact, I beat my mom to the coffee maker. I was on my second cup when she walked in. Her eyes grew big at the site of me, I had to bite the inside of my cheek to suppress the urge to roll my eyes. Sheesh, can't a person be up early on a Saturday morning? "Good Morning, Mother."

"Good morning!" She chirped brightly as she poured coffer in her extra large pink mug. "I've been debating on what to make for tonight. I could make your Dad's favorite…" Which was mom's Acorn Pancakes, "… Or I could make Baked Spaghetti for Billy, or Pork Sliders…" She stared off dreamily thinking about her ended up spending the entire morning and most of the afternoon making all three dishes and cornbread.

We arrived at the Feast site in time to help with the last minute touches. Every year the Tribe holds a Tribal Leader Feast in order to honor those who sit on the Tribal Council. My dad, Billy Black, Levi, and a few others are on the council. They are responsible for any funds the Res gets, overseeing our local clinic and protecting us. It's one of the largest events we have and my Dad absolutely loves all the attention, the little ham, that's definitely a trait Seth got from him. I, on the other hand, am the happiest when I am unnoticed and left alone.

I was helping my mom set out cups for the punch that Mrs. Rainwater made when I felt a pair of familiar arms wrap themselves around my waist. Through a smile I spoke, "Sam!" I turned around and kissed him hard on the lips not allowing him the chance to respond. When we finally broke our embrace I turned to see my father and a few others staring intently at us. My cheeks grew hot and I buried my head in Sam's shoulder.

How embarrassing!

"Well we better go say hi now that they spotted us." He announced, he tugged me along. We walked hand in hand taking our time, all the while the group never took their eyes off of us.

"Hello." We said unison making me blush as we got close to them.

Billy laughed, breaking the ice, "You two seem to be happy."

Sam and I exchanged glances, we had a quick and silent debate about who was going to make a comment, I won, or lost, depending on you see it, "Yes we are." I said, my voice cracked, "at leas I think we are."

Sam nodded, adding ",yes we are happy. I'm lucky to have Leah in my life."

My dad finally spoke us, "And I'm lucky your in her life Sam. You actually make her smile, I haven't seen her scowl since yesterday." He laughed at his own bad, Dad joke. I scowled I'm response making everyone else laugh.

"It'll be nice to have our families intertwined again. It won't be long before we are planning a wedding, Harry." This time it was Sam's turn to blush at his great grandfather's words. I think we both knew we wanted to be together forever but we never spoke about it. And now that Levi actually said it out loud and it was in the Universe it seemed to be more real. Marrying Sam wasn't just my teenage dream, it seemed like the entire tribe expected that we'd be forever bonded.

"You leave those kids alone and come get some food!" My mothers voice broke the awkward silence. Oh, how I love that woman. Sam gave my hand a reassuring squeeze as we followed; Dad, Billy, Levi, John Greenwood, and Sammy Whitewater back down the hill. The air seemed to get lighter as we got closer and closer to the food line. After we ate I watched Sam and Seth play football with the other guys. And after that we sang and dance, well I attempted to sing, to the council.

As the sun began to sit we all gathered around the roaring bonfire to listen to Mother Ann, our medicine woman speak.

"Children," her voice was comforting and soothing. Every year she tells a tale from the past. "Tonight I'd like to remind you of the story of the White Wolf. As we all know our people have a close, cemented bind with Wolves. Wolves symbolize family, protection, loyalty and all of those traits we hold dear to our hearts."

"Now the White Wolf was not native to our lands. He was a giant of a wolf, twice the size of a bear and as wide as a small car, his bright white fur reflected the Sun's light and shined even in the darkest of places. He travelled from far away,he came to warn our people. His warning was simple, change. Now children," her voice darkened sending shivers down my spine.

"Change is neither good nor bad, it is your reaction that makes it choose sides. The White Wolf's presence means that either your decisions are being watched. That you, yourself are being watched. No one knows where he came from or if he represents good or evil, some say both. Some tell tales of him being a lost soul, who through I'll fate and decisions lost the love of his life. Some say he was sent to warn us that free will should not be taken lightly. And some say if you ever find yourself in his presence you will be granted extraordinary gifts."


	4. Those Three Words

I woke up to the sound of light rain hitting my window, a shadow of a dream lingered, I vaguely remember a pair of red hot hands grabbing my shoulders and a faceless man yelling at me but I can't remember any of his words. I shook the thought away, unfolding myself from the knotted mess of blankets and pillows that I called my bed and headed toward my shower. As water fell on me I couldn't help but notice a growing, gnawing senseless feeling in the pit of my stomach. I gasped. I have felt this feeling before, ugh I bet that dream just completely messed up my entire day. I tried to ignore the pain, and push it deep down as I lathered soap between my hands.

Get it together, Leah, nothing is wrong. And if by chance something is wrong, you can handle whatever comes your way. Your strong and smart. You have the ability to make your life better. No. Matter. What. My little pep talk lasted until the end of my shower and by the time I was out and drying myself I felt better. There was still some weight on my shoulders but it was manageable. I dressed in my favorite yellow blouse and shirts before heading downstairs for breakfast.

The farther and farther I got away from my bedroom, the better I felt. I heard three male voices chatting excitedly. I knew each and every voice better than I knew my own. I walked in to see Seth, my dad and Sam all talking at the same time as they were being served pancakes by mother. She was the first to greet me, "Sit down sweetheart and eat breakfast, by the sound of these three," she motioned towards the three with her spatula. "You are going to have a busy day." I slid eagerly into the seat between Seth and Sam.

From under the table, Sam touched his knee with mine. His sudden touch sent a wave of shivers down my spine. I looked up, pushing my waterfall of hair to one side of my head giving him a shy smile. He winked at me, "Morning, Lee Lee." He whispered so that only I could hear, I almost dropped my fork.

"We are going up to Vancouver to catch Salmon." Seth announced happily, oblivious to the carnal moment happening between Sam and I. We all ate happily, we talked mostly about Salmon but also about yesterday's festivities. I was finishing up my second pancake when my mother shockingly brought up the topic of prom.

"Leah, have you decided what color dress you are going to wear to Prom this year?" Sam and I have gone together the last past two years, it's not a huge thing because there's only about 40 kids that are in high school and are able to attend but it's still fun to get dressed up for once. I'm usually in shorts and some sort of jacket. I am too active to get manicures or wear fancy clothes. At my first prom I wore this long dramatic Amethyst dress and last year I had on a beautiful teal dress with a detailed beaded bodice. I can't lie, I have been thinking about prom more and more lately, and I did know what color dress I wanted to wear.

"Red." I announced proudly and without a doubt, "Deep Red,I don't want to wear any light or soft color this year. How does that sound to you?" I turned asking Sam, who was already grinning at me. Red is his favorite color, which may have had something to do with my decision making.

"That sounds perfect."

"Red." Mom repeated, nodding, "That's a good choice I'll take you shopping on Friday then. Prom is only a month away."

"Enough about Prom," Seth interrupted, "can we talk about that baseball game last night?" While the guys went on about innings and pitches Mom and I cleared the table and washed the dishes. As I was putting up the last cereal bowl I heard Seth yelling my name from outside. He and Sam were packing up all of our needed supplies into my Dad's truck. I kissed my mom quickly and ran outside letting our screen door bang against the outside of the house behind me.

The trip to Vancouver was fun, Sam and I sat in the back seat and held hands the entire way listening to my dad's HIGHLY fabricated fishing stories. One was the time "he caught a thirty pound Bass with his bare hands." Once we were settled by the Lake, after Sam and Seth unloaded the truck we took turns baiting our hooks and began the tedious of waiting for the fish to bite.

After four long hours of catching nothing but air Dad broke our somber silence. "C'mon Seth let's make these animals run down stream. Sam, you and Leah you stay here and see if you catch anything than gets away from us." Dad and Seth got up and started to walk up stream. I noticed that my father picked a spot where he could watch both the fish and Sam. I giggled.

Sam must have noticed too, "Well, we had Friday alone…"

He made me blush thinking about our little spot in the woods and what we did Friday made my stomach flip-flop. "So I've been thinking a lot lately." Sam's voice sounded shaky.

"Thinking about what?" I asked dazed, my head is currently in the gutter.

"I've been thinking about how much I love you and how really lucky I am to have you Lee Lee." I must have given him a strange look because he added, "I'm serious Leah. I don't know what I'd do without you. Before I met you, I was just surviving. I was trying to make it one day at a time. Make good grades, and be a good kid and stay out of trouble. I never had anything to look forward to, no future. No plans. No nothing."

Woah.

His words took me back, I knew when his father left it screwed him up. I've always known him and his mother struggled, but he's never talked about it or even how he was still dealing with the trauma today.i couldn't find any words so I let him continue to talk.

"You've given my life meaning, you're my reason for getting up in the morning. You're not only my girlfriend.," he got up suddenly and charged towards me. His swift movement made me drop my hook. He spoke as he tugged me from my seat, "You're my best friend, Leah. I love you." He bent his head down and kissed me deeply. My heart skipped a beat. It literally stopped beating for half a second. My entire world became brighter, this morning's episode disappeared.

"I love you, Sam Uley."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him towards me. He kissed me again this time, more sweetly.

"HEY I CAUGHT ONE!" My dad's booming voice made us both jump but Sam didn't let go of me.

Sam kissed my forehead and said, "C'mon Lee Le let's go watch your old man reel in a shark." We were both laughing as we reach Dad and Sam.


	5. The Turning Tide

Hey y'll! I hope y'll are enjoying my story, I wanted to make Chapter Five short because it's a leading step to a major part of the story and Chapter Six is going to be HUGE! So I'm sorry that this chapter is very tiny but I promise that Six is going to make up for it.

Our total haul from that trip was a big whopping zero, my dad reeled in a beat up cooler and some water vegetation but that was it. After three hours, when I couldn't take sitting down anymore Sam and I snuck off to enjoy the "sites."

I woke up the next day to a typical morning, I showered and dressed like every other morning, Sam was right on time picking Seth and I up for school, and my morning classes were just the same and boring as they always are. But something changed after school. It's like the wind changed or a large waved crashed down suddenly. It happened without warning and in an instant it was gone.

Sam was driving Seth and I back home from school, we were in the main road heading North when a black car whipped passed us, cutting Sam off. He had to swerve in order not to get hit, "WHAT THE FUCK?" I have never heard Sam curse before. "What's wring with this fucking idiot? He could have killed us! He could have killed YOU!" He turned to pointedly look at me, his eyes were wild and his face was pulled back by tension. I have never seen Sam angry before, he was terrifying. I felt the pull of the engine as he pressed down on the gas petal. I knew what he was doing he was going to follow the black car.

Fearing the worst I reached out to him, "Sam, don't. Just let it go. We are okay, that guy is just an idiot." I waved my hand dismissively in front of me. He wasn't listening to me though, I felt him accelerated his already dangerous speed. I looked back to see Seth, his eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly open. We were both in shock by Sam's reaction. If I don't do something soon, something really bad is going to happen. "SAM! Stop." I unbuckled my safety belt, which probably isn't the best decision, but it's all I can think of right now. I wrapped my arms around his neck and curled my body onto his lap. His skin was burning up from anger. It almost hurt to touch him. "Sam…"

After a few silent seconds he real eased the gas pedal and moved to the shoulder of the road. "I'm sorry." He said, pulling more into his lap, he was shaking. "I don't know what goth to me." He kissed me once before sliding to the passenger seat, I drove us the rest of the way in silence. Not even the radio was on, an I didn't even dare to breath loudly. When we got to my house Seth horridly shuffled out of the car and bolted into the house. I wasn't in as much of a hurry to leave Sam so I turned the ignition off and turned to face him.

He was sweating and his hands were balled into fists. "Are you okay Sam?" He didn't stir at my voice. His eyes were frozen, staring down at his shoes. "SAM!" I yelled, shaking his shoulder.

He looked up at me dazed, "Hey look I should go. I feel- I just need to go okay." He swiftly opened the passenger door and I watched as he went around the front of the car. When he reached the driver's side he opened the door and waited for me to climb out. Which I did, slowly for some reason I felt more hurt than I should be about him wanting to be by himself. Sure we all have bad days, but can't he just stay here with me and talk to me about what just happened?

I got out, giving him a half ass smile. "Don't forget, I love you Sam Uley." I pecked him on the lips before making my way to my home. I wasn't even half way to my front door when it dawned on me that I had forgotten my backpack inside of Sam's truck. I half way turned so that I could motion him to wait, but it was too late. He was no where to be seen, not even a trail of smoke coming his exhaust was there. I felt my eyebrows scrunch together. What the hell is going on with my boyfriend?


	6. Dusk

The next morning I woke up feeling like I went through twelve rounds with a wood chipper and lost every single one of them. I haven't spoken or seen Sam since he left me staring dumb-struck after him. I absolutely have no clue what happened yesterday. I've never seen him raise his voice or even get annoyed. Sam has always been quiet and composed with his emotions. It took him almost a year to tell me he loved me, showing emotion was definitely not favored by Sam Uley. Whatever happened yesterday was not him. There's something wrong with Sam, and it's terrifying me.

My morning routine was a blur I remember showering and putting on the first set of clothes my hands touched, not caring whether it matched or not. I went down to breakfast and slid into my usual seat, it was the closest to the bay window, which faced the driveway. I sat, picking anxiously at a piece of toast. My eyes switched from the window to the large clock hanging above the sink.

The clock ticked and ticked, until it read ten minutes til eight, and there was still no sign of Sam or his truck. Seth left ten minutes ago with my Dad who tried and tried to make me go with them. But, I refused. I am going to sit here and wait for Sam. Twenty more minutes passed, there was still no sign of Sam and I was late for my first class. Only a few more minutes had passed when my dad pulled up, he honked his horn once. I guess it's time to face the facts, Sam isn't coming to pick me up. I got up begrudgingly and shuffled out the door.

When I opened up the passenger door I found my backpack sitting on the seat. I look up, confused "I stopped by Sam's house after dropping Seth off. Allison said she found your backpack in his truck." He explained as I closed the door.

"Wait. What?" My mouth completely fell open, "What does that mean, Dad?"

He gave me a sideways glance as he put the truck in gear, "She hasn't seen Sam since she left to work last night." Sam's mother, Allison works night shifts at a local diner in Forks which is a small town about fifteen minutes from us. My heart began to beat faster, he's not just avoiding me…

"What's going on Dad?" I asked, my voice cracked and I decided to tell him everything that happened last night. The truck was completely silent once we got to the front of school.

My father has never been good at comforting me. Even when I was little if I got a scraped knee I would bandage it up myself. Seth has always been the favorite to both of my parents. I never resented him for it because he had me wrapped around his finger too. So, I knew I wasn't going to get the best words of wisdom but I was expecting some sort of dad advice.

Finally he patted me on the shoulder, "He's just going through some things and.."

His words sent me ablaze, I don't want half hearted explanations right now. I stormed out of the truck slamming the door in my wake. Screw this. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. The rest of the day I was in a dark mood. I almost got in two separate fights, I failed my pop quiz in History class, and I dropped my tray of food at lunch. After school I headed to Sam's house to get some answers from Allison.

It started to rain as I knocked on the front door. It was opened abruptly by a red faced Allison. She looks like how I fell. I held open my arms to her and embraced her in a tight hug. Over the years we had gotten really close. As much time as Sam spends at my house is about the same amount I spend at his. We held each other silently on the porch for awhile before she invited me in. "Do you know where he is, Allison?" I asked scooting out a chair from out of the dinning room table.

She shook her head, wiping her nose with a tissue. "Yesterday he came home around four o'clock and went straight to his room. I went after him because I thought you two had gotten into a fight. He's never home that early." My mouth felt dry listening to her story, "when I knocked at his door he yelled at me to leave him alone. But I didn't listen to him." Her eyes widen, clearly remembering yesterday hurt her, "I went into his room and he got really angry at me. He started to yell and then he ran past me and he went outside. I haven't seen him since. What do you know?"

I cleared my throat began giving her my went on back and forth pouring over details until late in the evening. There was still no sign of Sam, none of his friends had seen them either. Allison and I went for a drive, looking for him at all of his favorite spots. But we came out empty handed, no one on the reservation had seen Sam.

I spent the rest of the week the same; going to school, going with Allison to look for Sam, coming home devastated, and finally crying myself to sleep just to do it all over again. I went on like that until Thursday, that's the day I put my foot down. I will not go to school, I cannot spend my third anniversary be miserable in front of everyone at school. They all look at my like I'm a freak, like a dog without its owner. Maybe they are right, I've walked around three and half days aimlessly, without person or reason. I haven't eaten anything for three days, I honestly don't care if I eat at all. I spent Thursday in bed, turning from side to side, every time it got too quiet I filled the void by crying.

Later that evening, I sat down at the table to watch my family eat dinner.

"You need to eat Leah." My mother said through pursed lips, pushing my plate of fish closer to me.

I didn't say anything,I haven't found the need or wanted to talk. The only person I have talked to outside of Allison is Seth whose been there for me through every tantrum, cry, scream, and every mood swing I've had. I pushed the plate away, reaching over it to take a drink of water. Mom said nothing in response, she simply narrowed her eyes and served Seth his plate.

"That's enough Leah." My father banged on the table making all three of jump. "EAT."

I stood up, filled with anger from this entire week, "I will not. Why aren't you doing anything? Why isn't the council doing anything? Sam's missing! He's been MISSING! No one knows anything, you haven't don't anything to help him. You have to find him! Why don't you get off your ass and at least call Charlie?" I slammed my fists against the table and stormed out of the room slamming every door and making as much noise a I could.

On Friday morning I got up extra earlier for school and before anyone was awake I left the house and walked to school. I even beat the rain, I was only in the library a few moments before it started pouring rain. I found a quiet and dark corner and finished all the schoolwork I had been putting off. This is the longest I have gone without seeing Sam in over three years, and this is the loneliest I have ever felt in my life.

As I finished the last of my math problems an overwhelming feeling of sadness came over me. I double overhead and began to cry, I couldn't stop myself, I squashed my face in my book to soften the noise, tears were streaming down my face, blinding me. I was crying so hard I could feel myself struggling to breath. I couldn't take it anymore I jumped out of my chair and made a mad dash for the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet before dry heaving into it. I still haven't managed to eat anything. I guess I had made much more noise than I intended to because Sara Rainwater came running in the bathroom followed closely by Mrs. Lightwood, the school's nurse. They both walked me to her office, were Mrs. Lightwood had me lay down with an ice pack on my head. She left me alone to call my mother to come get me. Sara went to go get my things which was nice of her, especially since last year I broke her nose.

I think everyone pities me, I pity myself.

I don't have the strength to be strong anymore...

My mom came bursting through the door, "Leah are you okay?" I nodded, I still haven't been able to find my voice. She helped my off the cot and walked me to the car, I let myself lean on her. I don't know if I can survive this pain anymore…

When we got home I went straight to my room, I stayed there the entire weekend. Seth came into my room Saturday afternoon with sandwiches and movies. Ignoring the sandwiches I let him curl up next to me, silently thankful for the closeness. I still can't believe my dad, Levi or even the council has done in anything. It's like no one cares that Sam is gone.

By Monday morning, the only thing that had changed was the over powering feeling of nausea. The pain in my stomach was so strong I could hardly do anything. I couldn't lay still, I couldn't stand the feeling of standing, I didn't even bother to shower or get dressed. I made my way downstairs following the noise of my mother banging around in the kitchen.

I stood in the doorway silently, watching her every move as she carefully nursed a pan filled with scrambled eggs. I clutched my stomach, "Mom…" I moaned, "I'm hungry."

She turned to face me, her eyes filled with shock. She sat the pan away from the fire, she came to me with her arms stretched out to me, "Oh, honey come sit down and eat." She cradled my face I between her hands, "You've lost so much weight baby." She cooed, leading me to the table. She was right, I had lost about twelve pounds, my eyes were beginning to sink into my skull, I could see my skin stretching across each one of my ribs.

When she placed a plate full of eggs in front of me an animalistic urge took over me. I didn't even bother with silverware, I took the eggs I my hand and shoveled them in my mouth. I was almost done with my food when my stomach lurched and did a flip flop.

Ugh-oh.

I rushed to the bathroom, and threw up my breakfast. My Dad found me shaking, sprawled across the floor. He swept me up in his arms like I was a rag doll and carried me back upstairs. My mom came to the conclusion I had eaten too much and it was probably safer to start with broth. She sent some up with a handful of crackers. It was the best meal I have ever eaten.

I was back at school on Tuesday. No one looked at me odd or asked me any questions, I went on with my schedule of going to school but instead of going to Allison's house I went home and stayed in my room. I only came out for dinner, I was slowly working my way back to solid food. My appetite till wasn't back but I was now able to stomach half a sandwich.

The world lost all color, but I was navigating the best I could. I had a routine; shower, school, home, dinner, shower, sleep and repeat. I did this over and over again. Until one day, I finally saw him walking through the school's main hall like nothing ever changed. As if these past two weeks were a nightmare and I had just woken up. I felt my knees suddenly buckle beneath me.

He's back.


	7. He's Back

I woke up in the nurse's room, dazed, with a throbbing head and my mouth tasted like blood. I picked my head up slowly to look around the room. I was greeted by the dancing bears that were painted on the wall directly across from me. I almost thought I was alone until I saw a figure behind me. My heart leaped, I remember now. Sam is back! Only this figure wasn't Sam, it was Mrs. Lightwood. Her back was to me and she was scribbling away in rapid speed on a notepad.

"Wh-what happened?" My voice was hoarse, I hardly recognized it.

Mrs. Lightwood spinned around on her heels, clearly shocked, "Oh, Dear you're awake." Awake?

"What happened? How long was I asleep? Why was I out?" Questions flooded my head making me dizzy. I gingerly picked myself up so that I could sit up and look at her better.

"Well…" She stammered, I guess either buying time or trying to find the right words that wouldn't make me angry. "Leah, you've been unconscious for about twenty minutes. You ugh…." Her eyes fluttered to the door, as if she was expecting someone to come through it and save her. "You, fainted in the hallway. Sam Uley was the one that carried you in my office. I called your mom and she said she'd come get you."

Sam is back, I hurriedly got to my feet and tried to get to the door. But I must have gotten up too fast because once my feet hit the tiled floor the room began to spin and I staggered back. "I don't want to go home." I shook my head, attempting to clear it and forcing my brain to function properly. Twenty minutes, that means first class is almost done and that means I only have to make it three more hours until lunch and then I'll get to see Sam. "Tell my mom I'm staying here."

I tried one more time to get up, this time giving it my best shot. I used all my strength to stand up straight, but once I took one step towards the door I felt the ground shift from under me. Like I was trying to navigate across a boat that was on choppy waves. I felt myself stumble forward but two familiar hands caught me safely. "Leah," he huffed taking my full body weight.

"Dad, let me go I've got to get to class." I moaned, pushing against him with all my might. My efforts were pointless, he didn't budge.

"C'mon Little One," he spoke to me softly using the nickname he gave me when I was a toddler. He walked me to a row of brown, leather chairs sitting me in the closest one. "I need to take you to the clinic with your mom. You don't look good." His hands reached towards my forehead, I was too tired to swat his hand away or attempt to escape down to the hall. I really want to see Sam but, I know my dad is right.

I haven't felt good for about two weeks. Mentally I knew it had to do with Sam being gone but I haven't felt healthy physically either. I've been nauseous, shaky, tired, I can't sleep at night no matter how tired I am and I'm always feeling hot. My body feels alien to me and I know I need to get myself checked out. So, I let my dad walk me out of the school and into his truck. From there we went to clinic to see my mom.

When I got to the clinic Rose Lightwood, Mrs. Lightwood's mother took my vitals and ushered me into an open cubical. Surprisingly, the clinic wasn't very busy today. She informed me that my mother was on the phone and she would be with me shortly. I laid back on the bench, my head spinning slightly, at least Sam is back. I let that thought sink in for a good minute. Sam is back. Sam is back, and I'm going to get better I'm sure I'm just feeling the effects of being stressed. I mean I didn't eat for over a week and for two whole weeks my life was in shambles. Now, that Sam is back everything is going to be back to normal.

I heard the door squeak open so I sat up slowly in time to see my mom walk. "Hi honey," she said as she gave me a small smile. She had yellow folder, which was my chart, tucked under her arm and was carrying a box filled with medical supplies. "Well, your vitals look good, so I called one of the doctors at the Hospital." The hospital was about forty minutes away in Forks, "He told me to draw some blood and they would test it for any irregularities and we can go from there."

So that's what we did, she put me through a small physical. Look here, look there, 'say ah,' and all the regular sort of things you'd expect. Afterwords she took two small vials of my blood out before sending back to the waiting room, where my dad was hunched over asleep. I checked the time and if we left right now I'd make it just in time for lunch. I walked over and began to nudge him awake, after the tenth shake I yelled. "DAD!"

He's always been a heavy sleeper, finally his eyes fluttered awake. "Wh-what's up? I'm awake!"

I snorted, "C'mon take me to school. Mom just drew some blood we won't find out anything for a few days." He couldn't have tried to drive slower, it was like he was punishing me for all the things I had put him through when I was growing up. I could have gotten out of the car and walked faster than he was going. My hands were clenched into fists for the entire ride.

Finally after checking back in with the front office I ran towards the cafeteria and halfway there the bell rang. The sound made my heart flutter, I'm really going to see him! I crashed thought double doors and a sea of kids followed me in. I ignored the lunch line, the hungry I felt could not be sustained by food. My eyes flicked back and forth, across the faces. Until finally they landed on him. He was shuffling from side to side he must have saw me before I saw him. I rushed over my feet couldn't carry me fast enough, I tripped over something. Maybe even my own two feet, he grabbed me just before my forehead hit the ground. "Jesus, Leah." He growled, clearly annoyed.

His words stung me, I bit my lip embarrassed. "S-Sam…" I began to stammer but, before I could any of my thoughts out he steadied me and as quickly as our interaction began it was over. He left me once again dumbfounded. Part of my wanted to run after him, demand him to tell me where he was, to tell him I still love him, to tell him no matter what I'm always going to be here for him.

Yet, there was another part, the bigger part that I listened to. He needs his space, Sam will let me know if he needs anything and he'll tell me what's going on when he's ready.


	8. Sam

I came home, soaking wet and naked I let the door bang against the wall loudly scaring my mom half to death who was sitting at the kitchen table talking on the phone, any normal person wouldn't be able to recognize or even hear the voice on the other end but even from across the room I could hear Sue's voice on the other side of the receiver. My mom gave a small shriek before hanging up the phone abruptly and came rushing towards me. I felt my body tense up, unsure of how my new body was going to react.

It took about forty five minutes to calm her down, then I was able to call Billy Back and my grandfather to come over and help me explain what was going on. After we all talked I showered and went to bed, only I didn't get much sleep. Her face was the only thing on my mind.

There she is, this moment has been gnawing at me since I got up and headed to school this morning. She won't understand, and I can't tell her where I was or what's happening to me. I can't just go up to her and say, 'oh hey babe, yeah sorry I was gone for so long, I was a little busy turning into a fucking wolf!' At least I don't have to hide at home, I can be myself there now. Memories of last night flash through my head. I felt her eyes before I actually realized she was looking at me.

I felt my jaw pop open, a few kids moved and I could finally get a good look at her. She's lost so much weight. She's must have lost twenty pounds, a pain went through my stomach. This is all my fault, she'd be okay if it wasn't for me. I always screw up everything. My mouth dried as I watched her take a step towards me but suddenly her eyes widen and I watched horrified as she crumpled to the floor like a rag-doll. "No!" I screamed running towards her, panicking and fighting to restrain myself as I made it to her side in two quick strides.

I looked down at her and swept her into my arms to get her away from the cold tile floor. She looks so sick and fragile, her eyes were sunken in and her breathing was funny. With my new senses I could really appreciate her scent. She smells like vanilla or cinnamon, sweet yet warm. Her skin was cold, I pressed her closer to my body, hoping to warm her. I made my way to the nurse's office, when I arrived I pushed past a small group of younger kids, ignoring Mrs. Lightwood's empty desk, she was helping a girl name Kim,who was having trouble with her inhaler.

"Mrs. Lightwood help her!" I pleaded and I shifted Leah in my arms, "she fainted just a few minutes ago, she's breathing, I don't know what to do. I don't know what the matter with her." My words jumbled together as I spewed them out, not bothering to breathe between words. I shoved through the curtains, laying Leah gently down on the small cot. She was still unconscious, she stirred slightly once my hands left her.

This is all my fault. I hurt her, I've done this to her. I swept a long piece of her hair away from her face, I'm never going to let anything happen to you, I vowed to her silently.

"If you'd like to stay, you're more than welcome to but I need to check her vitals and do you know if she hit her head?" Mrs. Lightwood spoke to softly, I had forgotten she was in the room with us. After I answered her questions and watched Leah sleep as long as I could stand it I left for class. I can't afford to hurt her i won't be able to stand the pain. I hurt her by leaving but I have to stay away from her. I might hurt her or worse, my worse nightmare is not being able to control myself and shifting too close to her. Living in a world without Leah is not an option.

I fought with myself for the entire morning, Leah's hurt eyes and emotionless face haunted me. When lunch time came around I wasn't even hungry. I took my time walking to the cafeteria letting everyone else get in front of me. I was in mid stride when I saw her, she's back. My stomach turned, I could see her looking around the room. She's looking for me, my heart picked up its pace. Any other day I would have ran to her and held her tight, making her worried face disappear.

But I won't have anymore normal days anymore, I can't risk hurting her. I still can't control my strength, this morning I yanked open the bathroom door too hard and it came off the hinges. An image of Leah lying lifeless in my arms shook me, no, no, no. I can't risk hurting her. I let myself take a few deep breaths before approaching her. I watched as her eyes light up brilliantly at the site of me. A pain jab me in the ribs, I just want to be back to normal so I can be with her. She reached out to me, eagerly and selfishly I took a step towards her. She was almost towards me, she was close enough that all I had to do was reach out and I could grasp her arms in my hands.

Suddenly I watched her trip over her feet and start to tumble head first to the floor. No! Not again, I bent my knees slightly and with my heightened abilities I was able to snatch her up before she hit her head. I shook my head, just being around me is dangerous for you, I thought. "Jesus, Leah!" I said before running the other direction, away from her so that she'd be safe. I've never seen her bump into a table corner much less trip over her own feet. She's never been the type to faint, she always stands her ground no matter. What did I do? I can't believe I'm hurting her like this. But, I have to keep her safe, safe from everything including me. My mood darkened, it all those Cullens' fault. If it wasn't for them, I'd be normal.

I would be normal and I'd be able to be with Leah care free. I'll never forgive them for this, all those stories were true. The Cullens are my enemy. Every single vampire is my enemy, I' going to make things right even if it's the last thing I do. I looked back one more time before running outside and heading straight for the woods.

It took me a little while to get used to my new body, I had to remember to control my temper and strength but by the next week I was able to attend school regularly. I avoided Leah as much as I could, just because I was afraid of all the emotions she stirred up inside of me. I love her deeply,it's strong and true type of love that I know will never die. Her face and thoughts of her were the only thing that got me through those two weeks in the woods. As much as I love her and want to be with her, it just isn't enough to risk hurting her. She'll ask me all about me disappearing, and why I changed so much, I know she won't stop until I answer her and I can't do that.

It's not must my secrecy to keep, I want her to live a normal life. A life without vampires or men that turn into wolves. That was the logical part of my brain talking, trying to- desperate to keep her away. A part of me knew she'd be the safest away from me. But the other part, the biggest part knows I can't live without her. So o eventually gave in and one day during lunching went to go find her. It didn't take long, she was under the metal canopy outside, it was beginning to rain. The water made her scent intensify, my mouth began to water, control yourself Sam.

She hasn't noticed me yet, to gave me an opportunity to appreciate her. She had her hair down today, it ran down to her waist and it was all swept to the right side giving me an uninterrupted view of her beauty. And boy, was she beautiful. I've always thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world.


	9. Building Up

After some deep soul searching I decided to give Sam the benefit of the doubt and let him work whatever was going on, out on his own. I don't want to harass him or be the nagging girlfriend. Plus, I figure that it must have to do with something about his dad or maybe because he's fixing to graduate and his whole life is changing. No matter what I am going to be there for him. My promise was the only thing that kept me going for the next few days.

Everyday I would see Sam walking through the halls, I would steal glances as I walked to my classes. I tried to be brave and focus on myself, I was finally able to eat again but I still haven't gained any of my weight back. I kept my nose stuck in a book. In the evenings I would busy myself with house work or cooking, and if I still had pent up energy I worked out so by the time I was ready for bed I was exhausted.

I got up on a Thursday morning, feeling sad, prom is next week. Sam and I still haven't spoken, I never bought a dress, I'm going to be the only girl not going to prom. Usually parties or any social activities, are not my favorite things to do but, I hate being signaled out more. Everyone already hates me for my attitude but they tolerate me because for whatever reason Sam chose me to be his girlfriend. I think, that they think I must not be that bad of a person for a boy like Sam to actually want to spend time with me.

Other than being down and out about prom my morning went on they way it has been. Breakfast, classes, Sam seeing, and then came lunch. Rain has been on the forecast all week but the sky has held up so far so I decided to eat outside. Maybe being outside will relax me, since nothing else has done the trick today. I soon found myself in a dark place, it happened before I realized it even started. A ball of angry formed inside me, my eyes scrunched together as I tried to calm myself. I gnawed at my lip, I'm not even sure what I'm angry at. I feel like my life is shambles and I feel hopeless because I can't do anything to fix it.

But I've been having those feelings for three weeks, I would have thought I would be getting better by now. But I'm not, I'm getting angrier and angrier. Yesterday, I went off on Seth for making too much noise while he was washing the dishes. Maybe I need help. Maybe I'm really not right in the head and Sam finally figured it out and that's why he's staying away from me. I must have done something wrong, said something wrong…. It's all my fault.

I was in far too deep in my own head, I could almost feel the ground shift and swirl around me. I might really be crazy. It all, stopped suddenly. My head snapped up, almost as if my body responded to his presence rather than my head. My eyes widened as my brain finally processed what was going on. Sam Uley is staring down at you stupid, a loud voice said in my head. "Hi," I spoke barely above a whisper, I was careful not to move. Our last interaction left a permanent scar on my mind and it's not something I want to relive again.

"Can I sit down?" His voice was husky, deeper than I remember. On my gosh it's been so long since I've heard his voice. I found myself unable to answer him so I simply nodded. "Listen, I want you to know that I'm not punishing you or trying to take anything out on you. I-I .." His face reddened, I could tell my his expression he was fighting desperately with himself to find the right words. My heart swelled, "I can't really explain what's going on with me." Then his words quickly deflated it. He saw my mood change because he tried again to explain himself.

"Leah, I'm not sure if I will ever find the right words to help you understand what has been going on with me. Maybe one day, but that's going to be far away. I just want to know," he cleared his throat. I know him too well, he's nervous. "I know it's going to sound selfish but I can't bare the thought of seeing you hurt or with anyone else. I just want to know if you can wait for me to get over this, I promise you I'm working at fixing this everyday. It's all I do."

I felt tear weld in my eyes, he still loves me. "I love you, Sam." Those were the only words that I could form, maybe because those were the only important words. Sam moved slowly as if he was trying not to frightened me.i tensed slightly unsure if he was going to get up and leave, but no he surprised me. I watch him move at a snail's pace, he leaned over the table so that his face was only an inch or so from my own, I felt his hot breath my lips parted on their own. He kissed me delicately and as I was reaching for him he backed away.

"I love you, Leah."

He stayed with me throughout lunch, we kept the conversation light. Talking mostly about the weather and when it was time for our next classes he stood and walked with me. I felt the urge to reach out for his hand but something was telling me not to press my luck. "So I was wondering if I can come over tomorrow?"

My eyes fluttered open, I blushed scarlet, "Ofcourse! My dad actually caught a big haul this past weekend and he's going to fry some up and I even think Levi is coming over. Oh, even Emily is coming over, I haven't seen her in about a month. I'd love for you to come be with us."

He smiled, "Then I'll be there." He bent down and kissed me on my forehead.


	10. Goodbye

Someone was screaming, shrieking like a banshee. The noise hurt my ears, why won't they stop screaming? I looked around my living room, everyone is staring at me. Why is everyone staring at me? My mouth felt dry for some reason. Time began to go on and then all the answers to all my questions began to sink in. It was me. I was screaming, tears blinded me, not caring that everyone was watching me have a melt down I ran to my room pushing past my father and Seth. I have to get out of here.

My life is over. There's no point being in this world anymore.

I'm no longer anyone's girlfriend.

Sam just came over to my house to break up with me. He didn't even bother to give me an explanation of why he was breaking up with me. I thought everything was getting better between us. But, I was lying to myself. He came over yesterday and spent a few hours with me but when more people came over he took one look around the room and left suddenly.

I began to sob uncontrollably, I can't take this anymore. I just want to die. I heard some movement behind me, I didn't bother picking up my head from my pillow. I hope it's an intruder and they are coming to kill me. "Leah…" Emily's voice gave me a shot of relief. Last night she decided to stay the weekend with us. Right now, I'm really glad she came over. At least it wasn't one of my parents. I don't think I can handle a pep talk from either one of them. "Leah what happened?"

"He…" I couldn't bare to say his name out loud. "He broke up with me." I wailed, suddenly making her jump, saying it out loud made it real.

She gasped, she sounded just as shocked as I was. "But why? Did he give you a reason? You both seemed so happy. You two have been together for so long."

I shrugged, "I guess I was the only one happy." I sat up and launched myself at her, she instantly wrapped her arms around me.

She patted me softly on the back, trying her best to console me. "Oh, Leah I am so, so sorry."

I don't remember much after that, I must have fallen asleep because I woke up suddenly from a jarring dream. It was so vivid I thought it was real, my heart was beating angrily against my chest. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. I got up carefully and unwrapped myself from Emily's grasp. She was fast asleep, her hair already looked liked a haystack. Ever since we were kids she was a wild sleeper, funny enough she and Sam have that in common.

A stinging pain came, I crumpled over. No don't do this, you're stronger than the Leah. I can't be hurting just by thinking of him. I wiped a stray tear from my eyes as I headed towards the kitchen. It was late, just after three o'clock in the morning. I tiptoed down the hall, as I made my way I tried with all my might to remember the dream I was having but I can't. But I have a feeling that I've had that dream before.

I went over to the sink and filled a glass of water, I tilted the glass up to my mouth but as I did a glint of something caught my eye from outside of the kitchen window. I squinted out the window, but doubt make it out. Something called me toward it, I couldn't fight the urge to go find out what was outside. So I followed my instinct and slid out the front door making as little noise as possible. It's a beautiful spring night, the moon was out for once. It rained earlier today, so the grass was nice and moist under my feet.

The thing caught my eye again, I padded forward my bare feet making a sloshing noise behind. After a few yards it seemed like some feeling, or instinct, or even some force was beginning to call, me. I felt like I had no control in my actions, that I was following my feet and I had no say in what direction they went. I passed the usual trail and took a left turn, I could almost hear something calling my name. I must have walked for at least ten minutes because I could now see the shore line, I felt like turning back. I should go back to bed, I tried to make my body turn around but it didn't listen to me.

I carried on, walking now on the shore line. As the water came in and out it swept of my feet. A cold wind came from the north making the little hairs on my neck stand up. My whole body shook, what am I doing here? My eyes swept back and forth across the beach, no one was in site. This is ridiculous, I shouldn't be here. I was finally able to coax my body to turn around.

I began walking back home, as I passed a small cliff I stopped dead in my tracks. My mouth fell open and I dropped to my knees. That's it I really am dead.

My eyes widen in horror as I looked at what was in front of me.

It was a wolf, a giant wolf. Like a really, really, big wolf; it was the size of a suburban. I stayed down, crumbled on the sand paralyzed in fear. My mind raced, as it tried to find a way out of this situation. You're so stupid Leah why are you out here?


	11. A Not So Good Night

Here's another short chapter you guys ^.^ but that just means my next chapter is another Point of View

The wolf bent his head down so he was eye to eye with me. His eyes glowed scarlet, well now I would have never thought in thousand years I would die by being mauled by a giant, snow white wolf. Oh boy, I really a, I goner. I watched in horror as he lifted his head and a loud growl rumbled from the bottom of his chest making his entire body shake and when it erupted from his mouth I screamed. The ground from under and all around me trembled.

I turned to run but he kept down from the rock and pushed me down with his head. I landed on my face, spitting out sand as I tried to scream again, but nothing came out. He pushed my side sending me rolling down the wet sand. Rocks, shells, and twigs were poking me and getting stuck in my skin. Oh no, he'd the type to play with food. He put his paw his giant paw on me, it reached from one side of my ribcage to the other. He put enough weight on me to pin me to the sand but not enough to crush me which I'm sure he was easily capable of.

He leaned over pressing his head to mine, his fur sounded my face blocking out the moonlight. I closed my eyes shut, whimpering, just get it over with. I felt his on breath on my neck and ear. I took one last breath, my final breath…..

I woke up, jerking out of bed, my sudden movements made me topple to the floor. On my way down I knocked the lamp off my night stand. "Ugh.." I moaned from the floor. I can't believe I was dreaming it was so real. Too real. I craned my neck over the edge of the bed surprised I didn't wake Emily up. When I peeked over I noticed it wasn't Emily on my bed it was Sam. Oh my god. My heart stopped. I jumped up and hopped on my bed, rushing to his side. I touched his shoulder but something was wrong, his skin was hot to the touch.

Burning hot I ripped my hand away, looking at my palm blisters began to form. I felt my jaw drop in astonishment, no freaking way. I gave a shriek that woke him up and when he turned his face was wrong too. It was completely horrifying. In place of his nose was a snout, he was growling. He lifted his upper lip revealing two rows of razor sharp, pointed teeth. I opened my mouth to scream again but instead of my voice it was Emily's. She was screaming my name.

"Leah, wake up!" She was shaking me awake, my eyes fluttered open. I grabbed at my heart, it's never beat this fast in my life. "Oh, Leah you must have some type of nightmare. You were thrashing around and moaning. What were you dreaming about?"

"Ugh," I hook my head, still woozy from the nightmares. Thank all that is good that nothing was real. It was all a dream. "I don't remember but it was horrible." I lied quickly for two reason; one, I really don't want to talk about it and two, I think that if I actually tell Emily about my dream she'll probably think I'm crazy.


	12. Emily

Her screams continued to echo in my head as I walked to my mom's car, poor Leah. How could Sam do that to her? They were so happy together, he worshipped her. I don't think I ever saw him smiling when he wasn't with her. I wonder what could have changed all of that. Heck, even a month ago he came with and Aunt Sue to drop off some supplies to Grandma. Sam never let Leah out of his sight. I don't understand how a love like that can just disappear.

I stepped into the my mom's car giving her a slight smile, "She's not doing much better." Aunt Sue has been keeping us up to date with how Leah has been ever since Sam disappeared almost a month ago. Maybe he has just been hiding his real personality and he's really like his father. I think he's just getting ready to up and leave. I can't believe he hurt my cousin like this. I'll never forget him for doing this to her.

When we made it home I rushed to my room, I almost forgot about my English essay that's due tomorrow. I wasn't supposed to stay the weekend at La Push but I just couldn't just Leah. We are only a year apart and me being an only child, she's the sister I never had and have always wanted. She was there for me when no one else was. And I will always owe her for the times she saved my skin from getting beaten up when we were growing up and when my dad died she stayed with me for six weeks straight making sure I ate and slept. I owe her my everything. I can't imagine what my life would be without her.

I was setting out my clothes for school when I heard my mom calling my name, her voice sounded strange however. There's something wrong. I hurried out of my room letting my jeans fall to the floor. "Mom? Are you okay?"

She was at the front door, blocking someone from entering our home. My heart dropped, what the heck is going on? As I made my way around the couch my mom spoke, "Sam is here Leah. He'd like to speak with you." I stopped in my tracks, why is he here? Why does he want to talk to me? He has never spoken a word to me outside of a rare, 'hello.'

I licked my lips, I felt my nerves kick into over drive. It's going to be okay, I took a deep breath and went to my mother's side. Even though Mom just told me he was here I still felt surprised when I saw him standing in my front porch. His eyes widen at the sight of me, I narrowed mine in response. "What are you doing here Sam Uley?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Ugh, can I speak with you…ugh, alone?" He asked nervously, rubbing his neck with his head. My mom opened her mouth to protest but I stopped her. Something deep down inside of my wanted to hear him out.

"Okay I'll go outside, but you only get five minutes."


	13. Hello

"Calm down Leah, now what did he do?" Mom asked as she was busy putting up gauges and medical tape. After Emily called me I had to get out of the house and for some reason I found myself walking towards the clinic. Can my life getting any more screwed up?

"He went over to Emily's house and after telling her that he broke up with me he asked her out!" Tears were beginning to roll done my cheeks. He couldn't wait a whole day he has to be with someone else right after he broke up with me? And it just has to be my cousin? I have to admit I was holding out hope for us. I really thought after his speech and after all we'd been through together he'd just come back to me. Now that he asked Emily out, that little ray of hope disappeared.

At least I can count on Emily to stand her ground and not fall for anything he says. I know, no matter what she'll never be with him. I flicked the tears off with the tip of my finger, getting them as far away from me as possible. I hate being so weak. I really should have known we were over. I wish I never would have dated Sam Uley. I was fine on my own, I was fine being all by myself. More tears began to stream down my face. I hit the counter with fist, frustrated.

My mom dropped what she was doing, wrapping her arms around me. I grabbed her tightly, I really need my mommy right now. I was sobbing in her ear but she didn't seem to mind. I was drenching her shirt, "I wish I could make it all stop hurting Leah. I would make it stop no matter the cost but I can't. I love you, and I promise I will always be here for you."

I stayed curled in her arms for a long time, it took what seemed like hours to stop crying. But finally, I let her go so that she could continue to clean and after awhile my legs began to cramp. I was curled up on the couch and when I got up I went to find some mindless task to keep hands busy. Mom instructed me to sort the mail, it had been piling up for weeks. Mrs. Lightwood has been off in Florida visiting her son and granddaughter so the day to day stuff has been put off.

I was almost at the bottom of the pile when an envelope caught my attention. Under the clinic's address were the words 'c/o Leah Clearwater.' Why is my name on this? "Hey mom!" I called to the back as I went to go find her. She was zeroing out a few of the machines and restocking the gloves. "Mom what's this?" I handed her the envelope, she took it and ripped it open in one swift motion.

"Oh this your blood test results. I'm sorry sweetheart, with everything going on I forgot to look at your results." Figures. It's typical for me to be forgotten. I watched her with my arms crossed as she scanned the results. She was humming softly to herself, the sound almost made my pain ease. Her brow creased and suddenly her hand shot to her mouth. She gave a gasp, "Oh Leah." Her hands were shaking, she started to look around the room erratically. Everywhere but in my eyes. "Leah."

"What? What!" Every time she said my name I grew more terrified. "What's going on? What's the matter with you?"

She shook her head, one had covering her mouth and the other had my results. I watched as she began to calm herself. With every passing second I grew more and more anxious. I stayed completely still, my mind racing. I have cancer. I'm going to die soon, that's why I've been so sick. What if it's a tumor? Scenarios began to play over and over in my head. My mom gave a small noise it what between a grunt and muffled shriek. "Come on, Leah."

I followed her as she led me up the hallway and into a cubicle. "Have a seat." I sat down on the observation table and watched as she pulled a worn, old book. Carefully placing it in front of her bending down to study the contents.

"Mom what the hell is going on?" I asked, exhausted from the stress already.

She turned around ignoring me completely, focusing her entire attention to the left of me. I watched, wide eyed as she began to untangle cords. "I haven't had to this in awhile." She said nervously, her eyes not leaving her hands. Why won't she look at me? She proceeded to attach one end of the numerous cords to the machine. "Lift your shirt up." I did as I was told, both afraid and curious of what was going on. She squeezed some sort of gel on my stomach, an inch below my bellow button. "There's going to be some slight pressure." She warned, owe I kind of have to pee. I held my bladder at bay as she began to maneuver the wand looking thing.

She quickly flicked in the screen so that I could see what she was ogling at. "Leah you're pregnant." Her voice sounded dumbstruck but I couldn't see her face. I couldn't take my eyes off of the screen. Sure enough I could see a tiny dark dot, it's my baby. For once, a happy tear rolled down my cheek. Hello, my little doll.


End file.
